The Need to Know

Dear My Future Husband:

I’m afraid to love you. Don’t get me wrong, I am so excited to explore the journey of love, ups and downs, with you. However, I question if I want to love. Be honest, do you have any reservations of loving me or anything unconditional? Besides your momma and God, cause let’s be clear if you don’t love the Almighty we got some problems.

I’m not saying I’m bringing baggage of the betrayal I’ve experienced into this but I’m afraid. Like  you really are about to know all of me, naked. My insecurities, deepest thoughts, deepest prayers, desires, goals, all of that. You not scared? Other than my ridiculousness of daily trivia in my head of the goofiest thoughts, you will know my everything and that scares me. I just think you need to know. It’s the need to know. Are you not scared?

Like you have the need to know, I hate secrets. Unless you want to surprise me with something you know I deserve, which is everything (I’m giving you a side eye right now) cause you better spoil me. You have the need to know I hate arguing. You have the need to know I need intimacy. You have the need to know I can be difficult. I want to love you, I promise to love you but you have the need to know I’m scared.

 

-Your Future Wife

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