Dear My Future Husband:
I want you to know now that you are the absolute love of my life. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate you now. For being patient with me through all my difficult times and just being my friend. I will have to secretly call you my best friend though.
Let me explain why life has to be like this. While I was in college, I met the most annoying person on the Earth that the Lord saw fit for me to meet and we become the absolute best of friends. Yes, my best friend is a man. I know. But as a disclaimer, we are not, have never and will never be attracted to each other. He is just damn slow. Like you know how I told you, you may have to question if I need a check? Well he definitely is not all the way good up there baby. Like we share everything with each other. His is literally the brother I never asked for and the friend that I always wanted, just who knew he would come in the male form?
He has been a backbone for me and there for all my milestones. So let’s be clear he will be jealous for 5 minutes but ultimately happy and be just as annoying to you as he is to me. For example, he calls me at work on my cellphone as if I am not at work and will ask “What you doing?” and I will respond “At work” and he will respond “Oh, you ain’t doing nothing.” He seriously is a jokester but the most loyal as they come.
Just as a brother, he cares about my happiness and will interrogate you like my uncle and brother. But once he knows we are serious he will think we are a team. Yes, like the three of us. I am starting to tell him now that once we meet he has to let me be with you, he won’t take it well but just know my best-friend is very important person in my life. He is up there with God and my momma, sometimes him and momma share the same position. We ain’t on some Brown Sugar though, we just two goofy souls who may need some professional help but always supporting each other in all endeavors.
P.S. He will try and make an obscene ass toast at our wedding, he is not to touch the mic babe.
-Your Wife with the Obnoxious Best-Friend