If You Let Me

Dear My Future Husband:

I’m always telling you what I want. What I expect. What I desire. I had a talk with myself, with God. I can’t always be concerned about me and my needs or wants and never seek your happiness.

I want to be your quiet place. You come to me when you need solitude. This world is going to beat and attack you in every direction. Come to me with your sorrows. Lay them on my lap as I ease your console you.

I want to be your doctor. When you’re sick and need the love and care that you had as a little boy. Let me get the bandages and knee wraps after you played ball too hard with your boys, cause you clearly think you’re still in your 20’s. Come and lay beside me and I will help nurse you.

Let me be your diary of your deepest darkest moments as a man.

Let me be your friend when none of your boys get what you trying to say.

Let me nurture you. Let me make you laugh so hard you have stomach pains cause I’m that damn slow. Let me make you smile just because I know I can. Let me love you. Like, really love you.

Bring all of you to me and I will fulfill all of your needs and wants as you’ve always wanted. If you let me . .

Dear My Future Husband:

So we haven’t talked about the clear elephant in the room. CHILDREN !

Are we having them or nah? Do you want children, if so how many? Like truly can we talk about this. I never truly was one of those girls growing up saying “I want to get married and have kids.” I was more kind of like “I wonder if I can use my niece as my kid for a free extra meal.”

Now that I’m older, I’m on this fence. Sometimes I do and sometimes I don’t. Don’t get me wrong I love children, THAT ARE NOT MINE! Like, babe, I enjoy visiting my sister or having her visit me and guess what leaves with her after 5 or 6 six hours of my name being yelled, HER DAMN KIDS! My sisters kids are like my true babies, I’ve been an auntie since 16 … see how that also changes my views on kids.

Lets be clear, them suckas is always damn hungry, like GO ON A DIET hungry head ass. Then, I have to carry it for 9 months. I promise you, I hate myself and my monthly flow, and that happens ONCE A MONTH !! You want me to go through cravings, body changes/aches, mood swings and lord knows what else? Then money !! MONEY ! They are costly. Then when or how can we travel and have our grown and sexy time. Ima need some Mr. Nasty Time.

But you know what, they are also the most precious beings that I could give you, give myself. To have something made in love come from me and we love, I’m dying inside just thinking about it. If it’s a boy, I want him to your mini you and if its a girl, shit, we all need to run for damn cover. But to know we made that and are going to love it with everything in us. Makes me love you some more.

Yeah, I wanna have your baby

– Your Baby Momma Wifey

I want you . .

Dear My Future Husband:

Our time is our time. Our time is special. Our time is sacred. Our time mandatory.

As your lady, it’s my job, my duty to love you and yes cater to you. I am going to love every minute. But what I need in return is you to want it. I want you to want me.

Want to have me set a romantic night or rendezvous. Want me to set a mood. Want me to caress you and do that little thing you like.

I want you to know that I want you. I want you to know that I want to feel your body on mines. I want you to feel my body yearn for yours. I want you to know how I want to please you, because pleasing you is pleasing me. I want you to know how my body explodes. Our time is our time.

Want to have quality time that turns into intimacy that turns into being sensual.

I want you. All he time, because I enjoy our time.

Would You Still Love?

Dear My Future Husband:

I have a fear, that turns into a question. What if we found each other, and we ended up getting married. Everything is perfect, and the one thing I know you want and the one thing I want to give you I can’t, a child.

What if I can’t produce a baby that will hold our legacy? What I if I can’t give you the son you may have always dreamed of to teach how be a man? The son you would want to take to sports games and teach how to play basketball. What if I can’t give you that daughter that looks like me and treat her like your little princess? That daughter that you would take to the daddy-daughter dance. What if I cant give you those things you want in a family, would you still love me? What if our family became just us?

Would you still love me if I couldn’t fulfill the things I feel make me a woman? What if I fall short as a wife and belong your helpmate? What if I gain weight? What if I don’t make you smile anymore? What if you no longer find me attractive? Would you still love? Would I still be the apple in your eye?

I’m fearful because all of this is real. What if?

You’re Brown Sugah

Dear My Future Husband:

Ima let you know now! The moment we jump that broom I’m jumping ya bones! Like seriously jumping the hell out of you. We both grown and by then it’s not in sin cause we husband and wife (jokes). Like on the way to reception we might just got to handle something cause listen . . I WANT ALL OF THAT

But seriously, I want to love you. I want to love you passionately for the rest of my life. I want you to feel the love I’m giving to you physical outside of the emotional and spiritual. I want us to be one. I know it won’t happen every time because you know kids and things like quickies happen. Bu I want you to know I desire you. I will desire you every day of our marriage. You won’t have to think if you are wanted. I will want you forever. I will want your arms around me all the time. I want your body next to mine every night, to feel your skin on mine, your lips touch mine and mine be on yours. I want you to be the moth to my flame. I want to be the honey you need to suck on to survive. I want to be that sweet thing you need. Your kryptonite cause you definitely will be mine. I mean, I’m so weak over you. I want to be weak like, let’s hurry and put the kids to sleep so I can have you and all to myself. I want you like okay, lets hurry up and get home so I can give you this real good. I want to make love you all the time. I want to love you all the time, you’re my brown sugah.