Hood but I’m Bougie

Dear My Future Husband:

I’m a true New Yorker. Like I bump Lil’ Kim “Big Momma Thing” at least 4x a day. I have to listen to all of my Biggie and a 20 minute Jay-Z session a day. I go from Lil’ Kim to YoYo to Rah Digga to some Queen and MC Lyte then I have to get some Remy Ma, Cardi B and City Girls eventually. I then slow it down with some Ashanti and R&B jams.

But my other side is classy yet bougie. Like I end my night with watching the Cosby Show because I was raised by a Claire Huxtable myself. I also have a little Whitley Gilbert in me because I was exposed to culture. I enjoy the museums and enjoy learning new things and exposing myself to things, I just don’t want to scare you.

We could literally be in the car and I’m yelling Kash Doll ‘Ice Me Out’ lyrics to the top of my lungs and then my phone rings and it’s a business call. I will go from you everyday hood-rat that pops her gum to Becky with the good hair and went to private school so quick. My code-switching game is ridiculous. But don’t get confused. Your wife is highly educated, went to the top HBCU and graduated with honors. She just enjoys some hood-rat tings while still keeping some class.

Don’t worry, our wedding will be elegant and class, until I have the DJ drop “Cash Money takin ova for the 99 and the 2000’s” and I will backin this thang up on you, so you better catch it.

I Need This

Hey babe!

I need you to be this hype walking your ass to the alter, cause if not I will make you walk again. I’m the best thing that’s about to happen to you so ima need you to be happy as hell. Like I’m your rib. You better be skipping to your Lou to get to that altar. Cause I ain’t playing.

-Your Best Thing Ever.

Deal-breaker

Dear My Future Husband:

Now, I will compromise on a few things. I will even conform if fully needed on certain things, however, I will NOT be with you if you don’t believe in Jesus Christ. I often joke that I am Ruth and just waiting on my Boaz, (refer to your bibles if you don’t know the story people). Now I’m not a bible thumper HOWEVER, I read my word, I pray, I TITHE and I worship every Sunday and at least once during the week. Spirituality/religion is what I won’t bend on and I feel most strongly about.  

All that I am and all that I have (or will have) is because of God. Through every struggle, mistake/wrong-turn, victory or moment in my life I owe to God. I have grown to know this walk in life is not my own but my walk of purpose. I cannot afford to have anything or one to mess it up but help me. Some days are hard and I don’t feel like praying. Some days I’m weary and I don’t have the faith I should. I doubt just as any other person, but that’s my walk with God.

I need you to not only believe in God (and I do mean believe like the affirmation of faith and the Lord’s prayer type of believe) but know he is the head of all we do. I need you to be the man of faith that is willing to pray for me when I can’t pray for myself. Can you be the person that prayed for me when I am at my darkest hour? Will you be able to be a leader in your faith over our household?

Are we equally yoked? Again, we can joke and play, but if we gon be in this, I need you to serious on your walk and be the man of God not I want but what I need. 

-Your Future Ruth

This is Why I am Questioning Where in the Hell you at?

Dear My Future Husband:

Let me be clear, when God brings you my way, I want to shoot the fair one. Like square all the way my mans. There is no reason for stuff like the video to be happening and I’m just waiting on your ass. At what point do you want to get on the good foot.

Nope, you want me here all alone. Don’t worry I hit your ass when we meet then I’m gonna kiss you because I still love you. But just know this right here  … I want to fight you. This is why we gon argue on site, okay?

-Your Inpatient Wife